Why do final exams have to be so... final?

While studying for finals this fine, freezing, stressful evening, I can't help but wonder: why do professors require their students to conjure up all information from the entire semester, memorize it and apply it to a usually semi-fair, essay style exam? Or even worse, to a multiple choice exam where there seem to not only be multiple choices, but multiple answers, too? Shouldn't our knowledge on our class subjects be proved by our work throughout the semester? Professors don't think so. They never have and they never will.

I've always found finals an interesting idea. Not stupid, just interesting, I guess. Final exams are really just a summary of all information learned throughout the semester, a combination of all information students make a conscious effort to forget immediately after learning it. And not only do professors give difficult final exams, they give them all at the same time, forcing students into confinement for up to a week at the end of the semester. We stare blankly at books until we panic and realize that the exams will actually occur.

Take my exam schedule, for instance. Tomorrow, Tuesday, I have three exams: two tests and one final essay exam due. Yes, under normal circumstances, I would study forever and ever, wanting to do well and succeed in each class. But because of this unfortunate schedule, because I am in panic mode rather than study mode, I just want to get these exams over with. I'm looking forward to coming back at 5 p.m., drinking a glass of wine and drowning my sorrows. That is, until I receive my grades a few months from now.

So, when I get my grades in a few months, and when my children's children are taking final exams years from now, there will always be only one thing to think: they'll be over eventually, and then, the result is completely out of your control.

And there's always summer school.